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| Sunday, May 08, 2005
Fraser says the mountains are closer when it snows.
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As the winter encroaches and my life starts to settle and a new term starts and the colours of the leaves turn I find myself looking over my shoulder and taking a good glance at the path I've just taken, yeah, the one less travelled, and I realise I really am doing okay.
I've been thinking a lot about this entry. After the last one. What was my world like? What have I re-created it to be?
While my time at High School was tough for me, and while I have to acknowledge that it has had a lasting impact on me and an enduring effect on the decisions I make, it is also in the past. Dredging it up over and over again, as I have tended to do, ultimately doesn't do me much good. Hasn't done me much good. Won't do me much good.
We all agree that to like what and who we are now, we have to accept that everything that has gone before was necessary. Not desirable always, but nonetheless necessary in order to make what we now have of ourselves. I like who I am. Even the crazy obsessive, pedantic, self-absorbed parts of myself. I'm having to look outside myself less and less to feel good about myself too. Alright, so I'm still a big fat attention-seeker and I still thrive on affirmation, but even so, I reckon I can think I'm okay when i'm on my own doing my own thing.
Today, I love the life I'm living. How are you doing?
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posted
by Christopher Waugh at 10:37 PM
There are 2 Comments.
You too can RESPOND. |
| updoc
responded:
Well I feel obliged to respond to this entry! It's nearing winter over there in NZ but I get the impression that the decay of autumn is setting in here over here for me. For a start it's not what would you call warm. Recent events have also added to that. They say spring is a season of rebirth yet I think awareness of your own life becomes the most acute during winter. In summer, you can set yourself to cruise control. The heat of the sun, the holiday spirit and the thought that anything is possible make you less introspective. In winter, however, you're up against the elements, the cold, and the feeling that you're restricted in what you can do. You spend more time indoors and seem to have more time on your hands for reflection. I've always loathed autumn. Not warm enough for going to the beach and not enough snow for skiing or boarding. There are some beautiful colours down in Central Otago in autumn - Arrowtown springs to mind - but to me it's a quiet time. The hustle of Wanaka only starts with the opening of the ski fields. You may well appreciate more the current calm and tranquility. You might get the feeling in winter that there are unwelcome intruders in your town.
Anyway this is rather an autumnal feel to this email. I'll stop now before I sound even more depressed!
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
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| swimmer
responded:
SKIN TO SKIN
now i run from desire
oh i miss the fire
the ones i want
aren’t friends at all
so i freeze and turn away
try to keep the heat at bay
that vibration
sets the sirens off
but getting skin to skin
mostly means that i’ll begin
to feed the seeds of suffering
now she calls to say hello
what it kindles we both know
i’m a sucker
for her jungle smile
but getting skin to skin
mostly means that i’ll begin
to feed the seeds of suffering
i’m a monkey with a brain
will i choose that route again
tainted fruit
can taste so luscious
but getting skin to skin
mostly means that i’ll begin
to feed the seeds of suffering
Lyrics by Kit Peters from the album: The Other Side [2005]
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
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